I spent about five hours Friday baking 54 sugar cookies. (The cutouts were a wee bit difficult.) Yesterday, I spent about five more hours painting 52 of them. (You can guess what happened to the other two.) That seems like an awful long time spent on something that can be eaten in about two seconds.

BUT IT WAS SO WORTH IT.

I think the details came out pretty good, since it was my first time and I’ve never even made my own icing like this before.

The cauldrons are by far my favorite, though. They were really boring until I added the FIRE!

And, being the romantic I am, I made Josh and I special coffins.

I probably won’t have time to do any more this year, but I can’t wait to paint more next year!

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Yesterday we hosted a birthday party honoring three men – my husband, my sister’s husband, and my sister’s husband’s half-brother, all of whose birthdays are October 2nd and 3rd. Naturally, when you have a party for three people you expect a decent turnout. Well, we had a total of 27 people, which was about a hundred more than I was expecting. But thank God we bought the house we did, because it was not hard to navigate at all. Yay for open floor plans!

It’s always nice to have a bunch of family together eating food, but for whatever reason, it never feels as special to me now as when I was a kid. And it’s not because I’m stressed out over it or anything – in fact, I was incredibly mellow considering there were a couple strangers and more than a couple small children running around.

Maybe adulthood just sucks the magic out of your brain.

However, I was quite proud when Josh decided to cut the cake(s), and my cookies ‘n’ cream cake was a huge hit. Yay for boxed cake and crushed Oreos!

I don’t intend to host another large gathering until Christmas, though if no one else volunteers for Thanksgiving, we’ll probably do that, too. Maybe once my big ol’ Christmas tree is up again, a little bit of that magic feeling will come back to me. Or I could just put in my Sound of Music DVD.

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For as long as I can remember, there has been this epic debate in the county I grew up in about whether or not alcohol should be sold in stores. I can’t really figure out why, although I’m sure our higher-than-average ratio of elderly people has something to do with it.

Yesterday, our county was finally voted to be wet, which means we can have liquor stores and the grocers can sell wine and beer. And I could not be happier. You know why? Because a seven minute drive to Wal-mart is way closer than 30 minutes to Boston for my $7.99 bottles of wine.

I know I am a twenty-something without children, but I’m going to go ahead and lay out the reasons why I don’t think this should be the big deal everyone’s making it out to be.

• Going wet is not going to make more people drink. People have been drinking regardless – trust me.
• This is not going to lead to more teen alcohol-related deaths. Just because before they’ve died from alcohol poisoning at home, after which it was covered up by local officials, doesn’t mean the sure-to-come DUI deaths are going to increase the mortality rate. It’s just changing the mode of death!
• I believe the people who are terrified of their children having access to alcohol are also the ones with children more likely to get pregnant in high school. And these people need to be talking to their children about more than responsible drinking, which I’m sure they don’t do either.
• This is actually going to make our county roads MUCH safer. Instead of going to Rafferty’s, loading up on whiskey sours, and driving home drunk, people can go to Rite-Aid, load up on six packs, and get drunk AT home!

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Yesterday was my wonderful husband’s 26th birthday. We’re having a group birthday party next Sunday for him, Roger, and Roger’s brother Sean, but we went to Josh’s parents yesterday for an awesome early dinner with pot roast, potatoes and carrots, cinnamon apples, and cornbread. And, of course, cake!

Josh tends to prefer whipped cream over actual icing, so his mom got a white cake with strawberry jello mixed in and whipped cream on top. Everybody had a piece. Josh’s dad, who has a very distinguished gray mustache and goatee, sometimes has a little trouble with foods that are not 100% solid. Meaning his mustache enjoys eating it if it can get its whiskers into it.

So, while he was eating his piece of cake, a bit of the whipped cream got on either side of his mustache. Without really thinking it through – and I’m still not really sure what caused me to say it – I blurted, “Skeet skeet skeet!”

Josh’s brother Bobby and his wife Heather were there, as well as their aunt Betty. Bobby and Heather were the only ones who really paid attention to what I’d said, and we all started laughing. Josh just continued eating his delicious cake, oblivious. The three older persons stared at us as we laughed.

Bobby said, “It’s okay. White people don’t get that joke.”

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I have been dreading this week for a while, because my manager mandated nobody had an off day this week. We had to go half and half Tuesday and Wednesday to Florence for a company seminar, and apparently an off day on top of that would make us too short-staffed. So, no off day, PLUS a 140-mile drive each way yesterday.

This seminar was far more moving, and I got far more out of it, than I ever thought possible. I don’t really know how to describe what went through my mind and what I learned yesterday without it sounding too simple or cheesy. I tried to describe it to Josh yesterday, and even with a forewarning from me, he couldn’t help but get this skeptical/humored smile on his face.

Without going into the details of the seminar, I just want to say that it completely inspired me to be a better person. Not a word was said about collections or profits the entire day; it was all about being kind and empathetic to our customers, most of whom are not as well off as ourselves as employees of the corporation.

The truth is, I realized a truth about myself; I suppose I’ve known it all along, I just never thought there was anything wrong with it, or had no desire to change it about myself before. Greedy is not the right word, though I like money as much as the next person.

Simply put, I am self-centered.

It’s somewhat natural for humans to be self-centric, of course, but I think I have always taken it farther than necessary. No matter what happens around me, I am always considering how it’s going to affect me – even if it’s a major event happening to someone else. And now I realize it’s time to just stop once in a while, and remind myself to put someone else first. And that’s what was asked of us – just once a day, reach out to a single person. Put real effort into brightening one person’s day. And of course, love always comes back around, so it can only help myself as well.

For about six months, I have been actively seeking a different job and applying at several places. My reason was simply because of the drive to work each day, which is almost an hour each way for me. I wanted something closer to home. (The main reason I have not gotten a job yet is because my current employer pays well for someone at my age and experience, and I’ve been looking for someone to match it, which is nearly impossible.)

I didn’t tell Josh this last night, because I did not want to see his reaction after the way he looked when I told him about everything else yesterday. I have decided to put my job hunt on hold for now. The more I think about it, the less it makes sense to switch jobs. First of all, the chances are very slim of finding a job related to my passions (film editing and photography). But perhaps more importantly, in general, I like my current job, despite it never having been in my life goals before. (I sometimes come home and say I hate my job, but that’s not true. And with the new attitude I’m trying to encompass, I can only grow to love it.) I like my co-workers. And definitely most important, after yesterday, I love the direction this company is going. I think it’s going to take me somewhere I had never really considered, and change me into a person I never thought would be worth becoming. And I think I like this.

I was so moved, and so disturbed at the revelation of my own egocentricity, I cried for a good while on the drive home. And I could not wait to go back to work today.

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Well, we figured out why the air conditioning went out in my car. It is definitely the condenser. Most likely, a rock flew through my grill and busted it. Fortunately, the condenser for my car won’t cost more than $100 to get, and Josh “knows a guy” who is willing to do the labor for an estimated $100. Still, that’s $200 we won’t have for at least two more months, which means it’ll be coming out of our savings.

Which means at this point, if our furnace were to explode, I’d be dusting off the Big Credit Card.

Also, we have ants in our cabinets again. I think I know where they’re coming from. (Of course! The one tiny seal in the front of the cabinets we didn’t think to seal with caulk!) So right now the cabinet is empty of food, and the tiny bastards are chowing on some liquid Terro. I hope one of them takes some back to Momma before he dies!

Aaand, our microwave is making some awful noises now. I can’t begrudge it for giving up on life; after all, it’s over 13 years old and came with the house. However, I am picky about appliances, and were we to replace it, the size I’d want will cost at least $150. Another chink in the savings. So for this week, I believe in God, and I am praying he fills our microwave with renewed life.

Josh is going to a gastroenterologist today to see if he can get a fissure to start healing, because it’s been about two months with hydrocortisone cream with absolutely no improvement. I know the co-pay will be about $20. No idea about what else this doctor’s visit will entail.

We currently have $125 in our checking account, and besides his doctor’s visit, I will have to fill up my gas tank at least twice before one of us gets paid again, because I have a company meeting about 140 miles from my home.

I firmly believe we will get through this minor financial crisis. I also know plenty of people are far worse off than us, with no credit and no savings. We did perfectly fine and didn’t fall a cent behind for our first 9 months living as adults, so I’m sure we’ll get back on track. It just frazzles me when things don’t go as planned.

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Yesterday afternoon, my sister’s husband had a seizure while at Wal-mart. He full-on seized on the floor, then became violent and showed memory loss when he got up. As of right now, they don’t know what caused it, but he has to see a neurologist before he’s allowed to drive again. Since he drives a truck for a living, this is an issue. But thankfully, for now, he’s alright.

Josh and I hung out in the ER with everyone else waiting to see what was going on. So, of course, being our family and all, we tried to make mild jokes about the situation.

“He had a grandma seizure. You know, twitching, foaming, cracking his head open on the floor.”

“Only cool people have seizures at Wal-mart.”

“It would’ve killed Cameron if Roger didn’t remember who he was… Yeah, him hitting Cameron might’ve killed him, too.”

“We’ll all have to get egg-shaped yamacas for Halloween so we can match Roger.”

“Don’t push the soft spot, it’ll stay that way.”

“Knowing this hospital, they’re going to give him an Ibuprofen and send him home.” (This is exactly what happened.)

When Roger came out just a couple of hours later, he looked a bit tired and his hair was so messed up it looked like he was wearing a wig. But he was walking on his own and he seemed alright. Let’s pray the neurologist finds a cause, and that it’s as simple as too much caffeine.

BTW: For those of you who are required to be on caffeine-free diets, as Josh currently is, Kroger has some great options in their store brand soda. It’s $2 a 12-pack around here, and the Lemon Lime, Ginger Ale, Orange, Grapefruit, and Pink Lemonade are all caffeine free (and come in diet, if you also need sugar free). Just letting you know. Not sponsored, just cheap enough for me to mention.

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You know, for a while, I thought Josh and I were doing pretty good for a lower to middle middle class couple just starting out. I didn’t stress too much about money. We went out to nice dinners every couple of weeks. We bought ICE CREAM.

Well, those days are OVER. Because OUR MOUTHS AND CARS SAID SO.

Allow me to illuminate all the reasons I’ll be paying back our savings account until this time next year!

• My wisdom teeth costing $690
• His wisdom teeth costing $191 (THANK GOD NOTHING MORE)
• The potential still to get a $130 bill from the dentist (because I doubt anyone is that generous)
• My tires costing $391
• His tires costing $215
• The guy putting on our tires costing $45
• Our car property taxes costing $181 this year (WTF???)
• My car’s air conditioning/defroster not working, which will cost somewhere between $30 and $500 to fix

And now I’m panicking and thinking we aren’t making enough money to be living our current lifestyle. Ramen noodles are high in fiber, right? And I hear cooking oil is a great substitute for gasoline. Maybe I can install a giant crank on the side of the house to boot up the electricity for four seconds at a time so it only takes me two hours to reheat my coffee.

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I know for most (or maybe only some nowadays) of America, it is way too early to think about Halloween decorations. But in MY family, you decorate for Halloween mid-September, leave out the fall-friendly items until Thanksgiving, and then switch everything out with Christmas that day and leave it up until February.

No sense in doing all the work of pulling it out of the closets and putting it on tables for just a couple of weeks.

However, I’m a bit down about it because I have a very small decorating collection for any season. I was spoiled by my mother’s – the result of thirty years of stock-piling and whipping out the credit card at Big Lots – which was amazing and made each holiday so very real and exciting.

But I’m working on it! Each year I’m setting aside a decent budget for buying decorative items that I like the most, though this year the budget was eaten a bit by wisdom teeth (no pun intended) and new tires. I’ll show pictures of what I have later, but here are some things at the almighty Kirkland’s I would love to still purchase. I’m praying they still have these left at the clearance sale.

As I am a big wine drinker, I thought these were awesome, just not at a $9.99 price tag. There’s actually about six different ones, and I want them all.

Although it’s 84″ long and I have no table long enough for it, I might buy one just so I can use this awesome runner during Halloween.

I saw this in the store and it is BIG. And it lights up. And it would look great on my front porch.

Yet another outdoorsy item I would love to have, but have no storage space for it. I’ll tell you what, though – when we have our first baby and will likely be forced to get a storage unit anyway, my holiday decorating budget might skyrocket out of my wallet.

…And since my mom is having a Halloween party this year to which she insists adults must wear costumes, this right here might be it.

Josh can just be Skeletor like last year.

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For the past couple of weeks, most of our nighttime TV viewing before bed has been Tosh.0 or Daniel Tosh’s stand-up, if it’s on. Josh started it by watching a few episodes of Tosh.0, and suddenly I was too distracted to try working on my book anymore. He thinks I choose to watch it now because he’s so darn funny – which he is – but what he doesn’t know is that I actually find Tosh incredibly attractive. However, this should not really offend Josh, because Daniel Tosh somewhat resembles my husband in his lankiness and haircut choices. It’s not like I’m drooling over Taylor Lautner or something.

That was so two years ago.

In case you’ve never heard Tosh’s act, I’ve included a video. Be forewarned: He’s one of the most offensive comedians I’ve heard in a while. Like, there are dead baby/abortion/pedophile jokes rampant. Even I don’t laugh all the time.

I just stare at his smile instead.

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